Re: fuel-air explosives and the next highschool "event"

[Stefan Jeglinski <jeglin@4PI.COM>]

> So here's my problem.  What was the difference that caused my
> experience, and my kids' experiences to be good, yet similar kids in
> other schools were/are having terrible experiences?  I have lots of
> ideas, but I don't know which hold water, and I don't know how to rank
> their importance.


Oh boy, this is such a tough topic. But one that I constantly think
about given my own personal circumstances.

My son is 17 and is greatly struggling in high school. In fact I do
not expect him to be able to finish. This does not -have- to be the
kiss of death, but for any parent who has to live and work in today's
competitive and computer-literate environment, it causes endless
worry.

He is not particularly "unusual" in that he is not a geek or a goth
or a punk or a prep or a jock or a nerd or any of the other
apparently well-defined groups that exist now in schools. He
perceives himself to be a "wigger" more than anything, to use the
vernacular. He routinely has described children who were in Bill's
position. In my day, there were only a few classifications, and they
were not tied to one's sense of self-worth to the extent that they
are today. And I do not recall my school environments like my son has
described. I grew up in a perfect middle class neighborhood with a
60s-TV-fantasy type of existence.

My son is neither brilliant nor gifted but shows skill and some
interest in science and has run circles around some of his science
teachers. No matter, his (our) problems are only partly academic. But
he ended up in one dangerous situation after another in public
school. When I actually had school officials tell me privately that
they were no longer willing to guarantee his safety, I had to say
enough is enough, and withdrew him from public school. Completely
unable to afford private school, I was fortunate enough to find a new
local charter school that he now attends. His environment now appears
to be quite safe and unpressured, but that tends to highlight the
academic and other problems he (we) has.

This is getting terribly off topic, so I will get to my point: when I
try, as Michael Edmiston does, to figure out what was different when
I grew up, I can never tie factors of poverty or privilege together
well. But I do observe one thing that I do not claim to be an answer,
and do not wish to present as an absolute or as particularly
meaningful; it is simply my own unscientific observation: when I was
growing up, almost nobody's parents seemed divorced. OTOH, I am not
sure my son has known many, if in fact ANY, kids whose parents are
-not- divorced. It is perfectly normal for me to meet 1, 2, 3, or 4
"parents" of a child.

I myself divorced my son's mother when he was 2 and took custody of
him at 3. I then proceeded in the last 14-15 years to either work
full time or put myself entirely through grad school as a single
parent. With my lofty PhD and my current high-paying job in high-tech
industry, I believe I may now be "reaping" the benefits. It is a
sobering reality.


Stefan Jeglinski